How to deal with children when they answer back- effective tips for parents
It’s no secret that children are restless and can answer back when they get frustrated or annoyed especially when their needs are not met. They are full of energy and curiosity, which often leads to them being disobedient. Most parents have had the experience of their child refusing to answer them back when they’re asked a question or given instruction. It can be frustrating for both parent and child if this type of behavior is constant. However, in most cases, it is just part of growing up and eventually will change as your child grows more mature with age.
Why do children answer back?
Children back the answer for a variety of reasons. They may be expressing their independence and declaring how much they are capable of doing on their own without parental supervision or direction. This is just the child’s way of letting you know that, as far as this task goes, he/she doesn’t need your help! But is this fine? Because they might even back an answer to a feeling of insecurity. Say, you are asking your child to do something he/she is not quite ready for, then the child will feel a sense of being overwhelmed or anxious about performing this task. The best thing you can do in these situations is provide reassurance that you’re there as support!
What to do if your child answers back?
Speaking of tips for parents who are struggling to sort things out when a child answers, we have listed some of the effective ways for you to handle such situations.
Don’t yell when they back answer
Don’t exaggerate their back answers, and don’t take it personally when they do so. Try to be patient with children who tend to answer back; understand that this is just one way for them to express themselves if they feel overwhelmed or anxious about something. If you yell back at them or say harsh words, it will worsen the situation. And so, stay composed firstly.
Talk to your child about it
If your children answer back, try to get them to talk about it. Sometimes they may be feeling frustrated or scared and the words that are coming out of their mouth might not make sense. They need understanding and you should join in this process by asking questions about what is bothering them.
If their back answers are disrespectful, don’t tolerate it
Sometimes children will say disrespectful things to adults, they will answer back at parents and it’s important not to tolerate this. If you do, they’ll continue doing it in the future as well as with other people.
If your child answers you when asking for a favor or something uncomfortable, try giving them some time before following up on what was said. But if they respond with a curse word or say something extremely bad, then they ought to feel the consequences.
Explain to them the consequences of back answering
It’s important to teach them the consequences of this type of behavior so that they understand what it means for someone else- not just themselves. Explain why you refuse to tolerate disrespectful responses and tell them how other people might react if your child continues with the same bad behavior.
if your child said something disrespectful then ask him or her to apologize respectfully. Tell them that failure to apologize will have consequences for their future. Teaching children about the importance of respecting others’ feelings to parents must change to be good people.
Figure what influenced this behavior
Has your child never used to answer back but suddenly is doing it. Then you’ll need to dig deeper. You must find whether they’ve been hurt by you or some peers. Whether their friends are wrongly influencing them or social media has been turning them like this. This will help you to cut down the influence so it will be easy to change their behavior.
Praise them for achievements Encourage them during failures
Imagine what would happen if your child didn’t answer you back. They’ll have a more positive attitude towards life and people will be prettier to them. You can also make up simple rewards for your kids when they don’t answer or achieve something, like complimenting them or playing their favorite game with them after school the next day.
Encourage them during failures
Try not to be too disappointed during the failures, because this might get them angry at you. They might back your answer because they’ll feel you lack empathy. Well, one should never put down a child when they failed. Never.
Seek a therapist
If you believe the reason behind your children’s answer back at you every now and then, behavior might have something related to their mental health, then a therapist would be of big help. The benefits of a therapist for children will be to help them understand the meaning behind their behavior and develop new coping skills.
Do not compare your child with others
Do not compare your child with others, because they might feel like there is something wrong with them. When you compare, your child will tend to back the answer to defend them. This is why you need to understand them first!
Be a role model
To eliminate your child’s back answering behavior, be a role model for them. This is the best way to help them change their behavior. If your child witnesses their parents back answering their grandparents, it might instill the behavior inside them. When you treat your parents well, your child will also follow the same manner.
Do not blame yourself
If the answer back to your children hurts you or has something to do with you, please don’t blame yourself. You can change your self-talk and see how it works in eliminating this behavior. Simply tell yourself that there is nothing wrong with them or their answer. This will allow you to not take their words personally.
When children answer back to you, it might be a sign that they’re growing. At this stage, it is crucial for parents to change their wrong behaviors in a polite way. Parents will find it hard when a child behaves like this because everything feels new. But don’t worry, almost every parent in the world went through it. So, with these tips, you can shape your loving child’s life.