We understand! Being a parent is tough. No matter how conscientious and alert we are, mistakes are inevitable. However, both parents and children have a lot to learn in the process. Learning through those mistakes and experiences will help us provide a healthy upbringing to our Kid. Although there is no set of instructions for proper parenting—as every child and family is different, yet, there are certain behaviors one should follow to avoid. Some parenting mistakes have a more profound impact on kids than others. So it’s worth learning about the top 10 parenting mistakes and knows how to shift one’s manner as soon as possible if you find yourself identifying with any of the following behaviors, no worries! Time and attention can fix it!
Top 10 Parenting Mistakes
- Not listening to the kids
Most of the time kids just want a voice to be heard! All they want is to express their feelings and emotions. So, dear parents, take out some time to listen to what they have to say. It is a crucial part of making children feel valued. If something is really bothering them, take it seriously, no matter how trivial it may seem. Whenever they come and speak to you, try to listen to her first, rather than trying to fix it. We all know, a relationship is the basis for cooperation, respect, trust, problem-solving, and responsibility. So, if you are there to listen to them just to fix, critique, teach, and solve, your children will realize that they are not honestly being heard and will shut down. Instead, acknowledge their feelings, allow your children to vent and process their emotions. They will feel much better!
- Not letting your child explore
Don’t you think, ever since their birth, the little ones are always learning? Well, we know how you feel when your baby grows by looking at your face, knowing your expressions, and slowly growing to understand you. Even though your little tot grows into a preteen, playing becomes her only way of learning. And so, she often ends up getting bruised or hurt. However, this should not be a reason to stop her from exploring. Dear parents, do not keep on guarding your child. Otherwise, they will not be eager to try new things or learn from their mistakes. Can you connect such kinds of parenting mistakes? Then it’s time to set her free.
- Not empathizing with your child.
When a challenging situation comes up, one of the most powerful things you can do is to take time to empathize before you react. Before you interact with your child, put yourself in her shoes. If she is crying and upset, frustrated, or angry —she isn’t trying to make your life harder. Know that your child is having a really rough time, and she doesn’t have the skills to know how to cope with it. So, just be polite! Make her sit beside you, rub her back, and tell her- “It’s OK! Take your time?”
- Constantly comparing your Kid with others- Things you should not say to your child.
This is something that has an adverse effect on children. It starts when a child begins his school life, and his grades are compared with that of his classmates. It is important to note that constantly telling him how others are better than him won’t change your child’s grades. On the contrary, it will affect your Kid’s self-confidence, which will impact his performances. Thus, it will be better if you sit with him and help him figure out why he is not able to perform or if there is anything else that is bothering your tot.
- Trying too hard to raise a perfect child.
This is one of the most common parenting mistakes that every first-time parent makes. To raise a perfect child, we tend to put too many restrictions on them. We often lay down strict rules, push them to behave in a particular manner, and constantly keep our kids in check. But dear parents, such an attitude will only create a gap between you and your child. It works best if we chalk out specific guidelines, and make sure to make those flexible enough based on our child’s response.
- Telling your Kid that she is always right
Pampering is something that is in our blood. We all love doing that with our munchkins. Isn’t it? But the fact is too much of it would be worse. Making our child think that he is always right will make him over-confident. Children should know their mistakes and also be aware of the fact that their actions can affect others. As hiding our child’s mistakes will encourage him to commit more in the future, it’s better to convey him where he is wrong and learn to own up to his mistakes.
- Raising your Kid to become what you wanted to be
One of the common parenting mistakes is that we often force our desires on our kids, especially when it comes to choosing careers or some extracurricular activity. We should realize that each child is different and has the capability to excel in different fields. It is crucial to act on this aspect of problems in parenting; hence, the right thing to do is to let them follow their dreams, while we would support them in their endeavors.
- “Complete this homework, or else you will have to cry later!”
It is essential to teach them to maintain discipline, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we would make them cry. Punishment is often mistaken with discipline. As a result, we are more focused on punishing our children for their misbehavior rather than giving them the tools they need to develop self-control. The focus of discipline shouldn’t be getting our child to do what we want instead of helping them regulate their own behavior. Focusing more on punishing our child’s misbehavior rather than encouraging them to stop, think, and make a choice won’t help our kids develop the skills they need later.
- Fighting with your partner in front of the Kid
Always remember that the base of a healthy relationship in a kid’s mind develops at home. And so if we always fight with our partner, it will directly affect our Kid’s mental health, and may also lead him to follow the same aggressive behavior in the coming years.
- Preaching without practicing
We can’t deny that we have the habit of giving unending sermons at our kids, but do we follow what we preach? No! Kids consider us to be their role-models and, thus, start by imitating us. For example, if you tell your kid that eating junk food all the time is terrible, smoking is injurious to health, or sitting in front of the TV or laptop screen all day is not acceptable, then please make sure to follow the same for yourself. Teach your child to make wise food choices and let her do on her own from the next day. It’s another excellent way to encourage healthy eating. Explaining why foods are good or bad is much better than merely labeling them as OK or off-limits.
- So, how to be a good parent?
Why not start with avoiding things that most parents regret making? Begin by asking yourself what kind of person you want your child to be after 15 years from now. Once you have done that, ask yourself if your actions are contributing to that vision. If not, it’s time to change your approach. Offer your child what he needs, not what feels easier or makes you feel better. Always keep the vision in mind. Kids learn emotional self-regulation from having it modeled for them and developing language to understand their experiences.
We know parenting comes fraught with challenges and difficult situations. But it comes with plenty of rewards and beautiful moments too. Childhood is a time for play, free fun, and discovery. Do not rush your little ones through this precious, innocent, once in a lifetime phase. Stay calm, and enjoy this phase instead. As, very soon, your tot is going to grow up. Just keep a note of these common parenting mistakes, and you are good to go!