4 Common But Harmful Parenting Mistakes Most Parents Make
- Updated on 16 Oct 2021
- Parents Corner
- orchidadmin
- 4 mins read
Topic Index
Introduction
When it comes to parenting children, everyone makes mistakes. Even as adults, we are not flawless, and we are not always aware of how our actions appear to others or how they may influence future generations. However, some techniques of child-raising can cause more harm than benefit. It’s normal for parents to make a few parenting mistakes, but one of the most common errors in parenting that can cause serious harm is when parents constantly criticize their children. Children are constantly criticized, feel insecure and unloved. Parents must be honest with themselves about how they are being perceived by their children. Any time you chastise your child, it is a criticism.
Children need to know that they have done something wrong when they hurt someone or break a rule, but if you find yourself saying the same things over and over again with little change in their behavior, then perhaps your words are going unheeded.
Most Common Parenting Mistakes and Parenting Methods
1. Ignoring Their Issues/questions
There are several aspects of our children’s lives that we overlook. Our children’s inquiries and issues are two of the worst things we can disregard. We find it difficult to believe that a little child or a school-aged child might have legitimate difficulties that require immediate care.
Our children’s curiosity is stifled when we dismiss their questions as insignificant, irrelevant, strange, or bold. It stifles their imagination. Dismissing our children’s difficulties as non-existent, made-up, or insignificant leads to inferiority complexes, poor self-worth, and even affects their self-respect beliefs. We have been told all our lives that we should not ask a question if we don’t know the answer. We are also told to “stop talking” if we have nothing important to say. These ways of thinking discourage open communication and open-mindedness, which is one way of killing creativity and curiosity.
Parenting mistakes: How to fix it
To rectify this parenting mistake, you should listen to your kid when he or she speaks to you. Set aside your worries and give your child the attention and time she needs. Parents have a lot on their plates, and a child’s inquiries may be endless! But let us make an effort to listen to their worries and answer their problems honestly.
2. Not Apologizing to Them
One of the most common parenting mistakes is not apologizing to them. All of us are guilty of this error in parenting. While some of us refuse to acknowledge our mistakes in some situations, many of us never apologize to our children (even when we are fully aware of our guilt!). One of the most obvious consequences is that kids do not learn to apologize. However, there is a more significant consequence of this: kids may acquire a habit of rationalizing inappropriate behavior. Going overboard with discipline
This drives kids crazy. If you make children face dire consequences every time they do something wrong, it reduces their desire to do good and even become better people. Kids look for an easy way out, and the easiest way out (at least when they are young) is doing whatever makes parents stop yelling at them.
Parenting mistakes: How to fix it
Begin with the simplest of tasks. Next time your young one gets in the way in the kitchen and you reprimand them, apologize. It won’t be simple, and it will need a lot of deliberate thought and work on your behalf. However, raising conscientious children is a crucial step.
3. Treating Them Like a Child
While dismissal is more prevalent in younger children, this parenting error is more common in older children. Many parents refuse to view their developing children as unique human beings. Even when they become independent, go to college, and work, and sometimes even after marriage, they continue to ‘parent’ them. For several Indian parents, stepping out of their role as “parents” and relinquishing their obligations and responsibilities as such feels nearly impossible. This leads them to micromanage their children’s lives at every juncture.
This can be damaging in many ways. For as long as you keep preparing the road for your child, instead of preparing your child for the road, you are going to leave your child ill-equipped to take on even some of the most basic challenges of life. How many of us have seen young professionals who are still guided by their parents in the most mundane of things?
Parenting mistakes: How to fix it
To fix this parenting mistake, you should allow them to mature. Allow them to become self-sufficient. Instead of always doing things for them and patronizing them, give them the tools they need to make good decisions. For true and meaningful survival, this is more crucial.
4. Parenting Mistakes Like Uncompromising Attitude
One Of the parenting mistakes is authoritarian parenting. Authoritarian parenting is a term used to describe this type of parenting. Among the several parenting methods, this one can be particularly harmful.
Many Indian parents want their children to behave in a specific way, to do precisely what they are taught, and to share their beliefs. For many of us, the thought that our child could hold opposing viewpoints is quite disturbing; it is even considered a kind of rebellion in our country. Parents of this mindset often lay down strict rules that must be followed to the letter. And when these rules are broken, punishments follow. This is where the trouble starts.
We may do this to protect ourselves or because we have a vision of a “moral and well-behaved child.” However, this can be detrimental to a child’s emotional development and ability to think independently.
Parenting mistakes: How to fix it
Change your point of view. Try to put yourself in your child’s position and comprehend what she’s going through. Recognize that you don’t “own” your child and that it’s perfectly fine if she grows up to be someone very different from who you want her to be. That isn’t always a negative thing.
Parenting Mistakes: Takeaway
Being a parent isn’t a simple job; it takes a great deal of patience, forethought, and devotion, and there are no breaks or vacations! What you do for your children every day is incredible, and we salute you. It might be difficult to make the difficult choice and risk making your child sad or irritable. However, as parents, we must consider our children’s future. We should learn from our parenting mistakes and try to rectify them. It’s not fair to lead them down the wrong path, and we’re all doing our best. Always remember that in every situation there is always a positive outcome if you look hard enough!
Also Read…
5 Secrets to Raising Positive and Happy Children