We understand! Being a parent is tough. No matter how conscientious and alert we are, mistakes are inevitable. However, both parents and children have a lot to learn in the process.
Learning through those mistakes and experiences will help us provide a healthy upbringing to our kids. Although there is no set of instructions for proper parenting—as every child and family is different yet, certain behaviors should follow to avoid. Some parenting mistakes have a more profound impact on kids than others.
That is why we bring you this small parenting guide about the shared parenting mistakes and parenting problems parents make and how to shift one’s manner as soon as possible if you find yourself identifying with any of the following behaviors.
No worries! Time and attention will fix it!
Not listening to the kids
Most of the time, kids just want a voice to be heard! All they want is to express their feelings and emotions. We don’t realize it, but this is one of the most severe mistakes parents make and should stop immediately.
So, dear parents, take out some time to listen to what they have to say. It is a crucial part of making children feel valued. If something is really bothering them, take it seriously, no matter how trivial it may seem.
Whenever they come and speak to you, try to listen to them first, rather than fix it. We all know, a relationship is a basis for cooperation, respect, trust, problem-solving, and responsibility.
If you are there to listen to them just to fix, critique, teach, and solve, your children will realize that they are not honestly being heard and will shut down. Instead, acknowledge their feelings, allow your children to vent and process their emotions. They will feel much better!
Not letting your child explore
Don’t you think, ever since their birth, the little ones are always learning? Well, we know how you feel when your baby grows by looking at your face, knowing your expressions, and slowly growing to understand you.
Even though your little tot grows into a pre-teen, playing becomes her only way of learning. And so, they often end up getting bruised or hurt.
However, this should not be a reason to stop them from exploring. Dear parents, do not keep on guarding your child. Otherwise, they will not be eager to try new things or learn from their mistakes. Be it sports or various academic streams, let them explore.
Can you connect with such kinds of parenting mistakes? If yes, then it’s time to set them free.
Not empathizing with your child
When a challenging situation comes up, one of the most powerful things you can do is to empathize before you react. Before you interact with your child, put yourself in her shoes.
If they are crying and upset, frustrated, or angry —they are not trying to make your life harder. Know that your child is having a really rough time, and they don’t have the skills to know how to cope with it.
Just be polite! Make them sit beside you, rub their back, and tell them – “It’s OK! Take your time.”
Constantly comparing your Kid with others- Things you should not say to your child.
This is something that harms children. It starts when a child begins his school life, and his grades are compared with his classmates. It is important to note that continually telling him how others are better than him won’t change your child’s grades.
On the contrary, it will affect your kid’s self-confidence, which will impact his performance. Thus, it will be better if you sit with him and help him figure out why he cannot perform or if there is anything else that is bothering you a lot.
Comparing their child to someone else’s is one of the worst mistakes parents make and can leave a scar on their kid’s personality forever.
Trying too hard to raise a perfect child
This is one of the most common parenting mistakes that every first-time parent makes. To raise a perfect child, we tend to put too many restrictions on them. We often lay down strict rules, push them to behave in a particular manner, and continuously keep them in check. But such an attitude will only create a gap between you and your child.
It works best if we chalk out specific guidelines and make sure to make those flexible enough based on our child’s response.
Telling your Kid that she is always right
Pampering is something that is in our blood. We all love doing that with our munchkins. Isn’t it? But the fact is too much of it would be worse.
Making our children think that they are always right will make them over-confident. Children should know their mistakes and also be aware of the fact that their actions can affect others.
As for hiding, our child’s mistakes will encourage him to commit more in the future. It’s better to convey to him where he is wrong and learn to own up to his mistakes.
Raising your Kid to become what you wanted to be
One of the shared parenting mistakes is that we often force our kids’ desires, especially when it comes to choosing careers or some extracurricular activity.
We should realize that each child is different and can excel in various fields. It is crucial to act on this aspect of parenting problems; hence, the right thing to do is to let them follow their dreams while supporting them in their endeavours.
“Complete this homework, or else you will have to cry later!”
It is essential to teach them to maintain discipline, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we would make them cry. Punishment is often mistaken for the domain. As a result, we are more focused on punishing our children for their misbehavior rather than giving them the tools they need to develop self-control. The focus of discipline shouldn’t be getting our children to do what we want instead of helping them regulate their own behavior. Focusing more on punishing our child’s misbehavior rather than encouraging them to stop, think, and make a choice won’t help our kids develop the skills they need later. Fighting With Your Partner In Front Of The Kid
Always remember that the base of a healthy relationship in a kid’s mind develops at home. And so, if we continually fight with our partner, it will directly affect our kid’s mental health and lead him to follow the same aggressive behavior in the coming years.
Toxic relationships of parents can develop anxieties and phobias in their children. So we would suggest you take a break from your fights and try to analyze the situation and resolve your personal and parenting problems.
Fighting with your partner in front of the Kid
Always remember that the base of a healthy relationship in a kid’s mind develops at home. And so if we always fight with our partner, it will directly affect our Kid’s mental health, and may also lead him to follow the same aggressive behaviour in the coming years.
Preaching without practising
We can’t deny that we have the habit of giving unending sermons to our kids, but do we follow what we preach? No!
Kids consider us to be their role-models and, thus, start by imitating us. For example, if you tell your kid that eating junk food all the time is terrible, smoking is injurious to health, or sitting in front of the TV or laptop screen all day is not acceptable, then please make sure to follow the same for yourself.
Teach your child to make wise food choices and let him or her do it on their own from the next day. It’s another excellent way to encourage healthy eating. Explaining why foods are good or bad is much better than merely labelling them as OK or off-limits.
So, how to be a good parent?
Why not start with avoiding things that most parents regret making? Begin by asking yourself what kind of person you want your child to be after 15 years from now. Once you have done that, ask yourself if your actions are contributing to that vision. If not, it’s time to change your approach. Offer your child what he needs, not what feels easier or makes you feel better. Always keep the vision in mind. Kids learn emotional self-regulation from having it modeled for them and developing language to understand their experiences.
We know parenting comes fraught with challenges and difficult situations. But it comes with plenty of rewards and beautiful moments too.
Childhood is a time for play, free fun, and discovery. Do not rush your little ones through this precious, innocent, once-in-a-lifetime phase. Stay calm, and enjoy this phase instead. As, very soon, your tot is going to grow up. Just keep a note of these common parenting mistakes, and you are good to go!
Don’t worry about their future. We all need some parenting guidance in our lives. If you feel distressed about it, start asking for help. Read about parenting guidance here and there, and we are sure the benefit will be available. We hope this little parenting guide came to your aid.