Dealing with a Rebellious Teenager: Parent’s Guide
Parenting is hard. It’s even harder when your teen starts to rebel and you’re not sure how to deal with it. Whether they are sneaking out at night, talking back, or constantly skipping school, there are ways that parents can establish a healthy relationship again with their rebellious teenagers. In this blog post, we will discuss some of the most common issues and offer strategies for dealing with them so you can get your family back on track.
Signs Of A Rebellious Teenager
When a child reaches his/her adolescence, there are a lot of chances of turning into a rebellious teenager. Some of the signs to watch out for are:
- Sneaking out at night to meet with friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend
- Talking back and refusing to do chores or homework.
- Frequently skipping school
- Back answering during lectures
- Arguing all the time
- Won’t listen to any of your words but rather make their choices
- Substance abuse (not all kids react like this)
- Fighting with other children or classmates
- Constantly on social media and games
If your child has shown either one of these or a couple of these signs, it’s high time you start taking the best measures.
Strategies For Dealing With Rebellious Teenagers
Rebellious teenagers can be a real challenge to deal with, but the first step is to recognize when it has happened. Once you know what signs your child displays and how far he or she might have progressed into the rebellious teen territory, you’ll be able to identify which ones require more intervention on your part.
1. Know that your child is imperfect and don’t judge them.
The first thing to do is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your child and make sure that he or she understands how you feel about the behavior while recognizing their imperfections.
- Remember that your child is not a diamond in the rough. They’re trying their best to shine.
- Your high expectations of them can turn into an obsession. So when they don’t fulfill it, both of you will get hurt.
- When you judge them for their personality, they’ll feel suffocated and would want to leave you.
- Do not try to have them under your control by grooming their personality. They might act polished in front of you but be their true selves outside.
2. Talk to them about their sudden rebellious behavior.
If you’re hurt by their behavior, let them know about it. Tell them how their behavior has been affecting both of you. Ask them what made them turn into a rebellious teenager. Instead of yelling at them every time they disobey, try being calm and understanding. They’ll surely open up about certain situations that caused their actions.
3. Don’t take away all their privileges, it will worsen their behavior.
If they’re grounded, try to spend time with them. Use this time to talk about their problem and you might finally see the light. Taking away all their privileges will only worsen their behavior. Impose on them a certain time they’re not allowed to use the computer or cell phone, and allow it when you can see that they became more obedient again.
4. Argue with them in an appropriate manner.
Rebellious teenagers want attention too. They don’t have other ways to get this so sometimes they rebel and do things they know will get them in trouble. Try to stay calm and remind yourself that this is just a stage, which won’t last forever. You can argue with your teen but do it in an appropriate manner – not too angry or absurd; never use insulting words even if you’re really frustrated.
5. Tell them that their rebellious behavior has consequences.
If they know that their actions have consequences, it’s less likely for them to behave in an unacceptable way. Tell your teen not only about the possible negative consequences of his/her behavior but also about positive results if he/she is obedient. You can tell him or her how good you feel when s/he does as told and what would happen if s/he was disobedient.
6. Seek a therapist for your rebellious teenager.
Dealing with a rebellious teenager can be really frustrating and trying. A therapist might help you better cope with the situation and think of strategies that are more effective to manage your teen’s behavior.
7. Be patient; it will take time before they change.
The way we react when our kids do something wrong should depend on what kind of mistake they made. For instance, if they get a low grade on an exam or completely miss the homework assignment that’s due tomorrow, we should be less angry than when they steal from us or hit his/her sibling.
If you are too upset to speak calmly with your teen about what happened and how s/he could fix it, take some time before confronting. Because the reason behind having a conversation is for a solution and not an argument.
8. Go to counselling.
As a parent, you’ll even need someone to talk to. A therapist will help you deal with all the emotions and prepare for more effective ways of communication. They’ll guide you in directing your rebellious teenager. Sometimes you might feel like nothing is working out and this might cause you a burden. So a therapist would be of great help in making you remain composed and collected.
9. Be their support.
The key is to be supportive at this point instead of being strict and worrying about what other people think. Your teen needs you now more than ever! That means don’t criticize them for every little flaw or mistake they commit in front of their friends. Be there for them by understanding the reason behind their rebel actions.
Honestly talk to a rebellious teenager about their problems, even if it’s not a big one. It can be as simple as them feeling like they don’t have any friends or are too shy to chat up someone in class. Knowing how s/he feels will make all the difference.
It’s better to forbid them from something before it happens rather than after they’ve done it, believing that you can’t control your teen and that nothing will stop him or her once the rebellious teenager’s behaviour has begun. Be firm but reasonable when dealing with this kind of situation. Stay strong, you’ve got this!