Mautushi Paul |
Parents Corner |
2023-09-05 |
null mins read
Talking with your kid is a daily thing. But, let’s face it, as parents, we often remain busy, and it is easier to keep the conversation with our kiddos light so we can move on to the next thing on our “to-do” list. There’s a place for light discussion in daily life, but there are also those times when your child needs you to tune in and listen more deeply.
They won’t tell you this, but they need you to probe into their inner life in some circumstances to find out what they think and feel. This will help them make more sense of their emotions, but it will also strengthen your relationship with them. They will intuitively sense that you understand them better because you took the time and energy to care.
Effective communication includes listening, understanding and responding to people. To develop listening skills, your child needs to pay attention to what’s being said. They must think about what’s being said and respond in a way that will encourage the person to keep talking. To show that they’re paying attention, one should ensure that they look at your little one and make eye contact without staring excessively. Asking questions will show interest, and it’s important not to interrupt the speaker. Your kid also needs to make encouraging sounds and use short words or sentences.
Effective communication with kids requires styles and behaviour appropriate to the child’s age. Rewarding interactions with children need understanding how children of different generations communicate and what they like to talk about. Adults must share in a way that relates to the age and interests of the child.
When you sense that your little one needs to talk, give them your full attention. Face them, kneel to get on their level if necessary – even tilt your head – to show that you are listening.
When they have noticeable emotion in their words or their body language, attend to that feeling. It’s often helpful to make an observation or restate what you hear them say. This, in turn, will make them feel that you are taking them and their feelings seriously.
Empathy is a comforting response we can give to another person, especially a child. When you recognize a child’s emotion, you sensitize them to that emotion, permit them to feel it, and acknowledge it in other people. When you recognize those feelings, you validate them. Often, buying their feelings is all the child needs to begin dealing with the problem at hand.
We often expect our kids to understand adult-like ways of thinking, and we don’t consider how they might be thinking. You could get upset, ignore your child’s behaviour. For example, is their upset behaviour a plea for comfort, security, reassurance, or something else you don’t understand? When you can see that certain behaviours are connected to their developmental needs, it is easier to be rational and patient with appropriate intervention.
Shaming a child diminishes their worth. For example, a 15-year-old boy knocks over his milk at dinner for the third time this week, and his mother explodes in anger, saying, “You idiot, can’t you be more careful?” Well, over time, these instances of shame make the child feel defective.
When faced with a dilemma or decision that you and your child disagree on, ask them what he wants or would like to change. This helps them avoid negative thoughts and see that there are options to every problem.
When you take the time to talk with your kids about nature, they will be more likely to understand and care for it. For example, when we help our son identify different animals in a book on trees or birds outside of his window he is much happier spending time outdoors. And as an added bonus, talking about how important this connection is between us and the natural world; helps him feel less guilty about all those times he’s ridden his bike through mud puddles! We hope these tips have been helpful- please let us know if there are any other topics that might interest you. Stay tuned next week for another blog post from our parenting experts.
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